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Like Always

by Saint and Kings

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1.
It’s the champagne and the fireworks outside and inside getting on my nerves It’s the champagne and the fireworks inside and outside getting on my nerves I watch the clock ticking down try to keep an ugly frown off my face as I occupy my space pay no mind to the cat or the company so long as they don’t bother me they’re holding up their end of the bargain It’s the arbitrary counts the decades in amounts it gets so hard to keep track of all the years behind every panicked grin you see the state they’re all in trying to capture all of their fears and tears Nothing new but the number same waking dream same slumber beat your head against the lumber set it all on fire
2.
Water and coffee, footsteps in the hallway Rain overhead giving way to an empty cloud A cat making noise over a small plaything How in the world can tiny things be so loud? I've been cruel and I've been foolish Sooner than I'd prefer I'll be both again But before I do, this is my one true wish that you have and will consider me a friend Forward and backwards, rooted in a routine Sun overhead trapping all beneath its glow Dog barks in the distance at someone unseen How in the world can my dinner arrive so slow? I've been a donkey and an ass and mulish Stubborn and ornery only myself to blame But before I change, one thing I would arrange that you consider me a friend by my name
3.
You shuffle your papers, look at them like they can tell you what’s right, grip on utensils, shovel your food as if it can feed you tonight, but it’s all just objects lacking in permanence, and we’re both inmates knowing we can’t finish each other’s sentence. Tell me about sentience, tell me about essence, tell me about the dream you had the other night. Tell me about your roommate, how he doesn’t mean anything, he’s just taking up space. That’s my finger tapping on the wall, it’s me showing you I’m not disappointed. I’m barely surprised. What did I expect?
4.
Hit Or Miss 05:01
If it was all an act, we were actor and actress taking tiny toy guns out for target practice blanks in the chamber go boom when finally fired If it was all a scene, these costumes convinced now they're in wardrobe, ain't been seen since oh, beg me not to blame you for the way you're wired If I'm missing you, it's not because my aim is low If I'm missing you, it's because I'm letting us go You're dead to me, but I'm not haunted just so you know this ain't a goodbye kiss so much as one of us might've wanted with me it'll never be hit or miss If it was all a role, well, bless your heart and soul quiet on the set, cue every line you remembered to forget high-caliber punch-ups delivered as part of the plot don't mind me darling I'll be sitting over there with my name on the back of my chair glass in my hand raised in the air for the martini shot If I'm missing you, it's not because my aim is high If I'm missing you it's only because I'm saying goodbye You're only dead to me, I'm not haunted just so you know this ain't a goodbye kiss so much as one of us might've wanted with me it'll never be hit or miss Every time you tried to land a heavy hand on me those pads and cushions helped with the pushing They built in the distance now widening between no more soothing or hushing your panting and rushing Seeing you is my last hope at the other end of my scope You got caught slippin', now you're fading out of frame what a shame
5.
Interference 04:06
You’re such a devoted opponent of the world as you encounter it. Looking out from inside a lonely donut, it really creeps you out, don’t it? I wish I could run some interference for your convenience and their incoherence I wish the loving care someone like me offers could help refill your aquifers and coffers And all the people you meet are counterfeit, lacking in worldliness and even less in wit! You only want to see the engineers of empire on their hands and knees, crawling in the mire I wish my loving care could run some interference Everyone who visits can only be complicit at best if nothing you assess can ever pass your test. This universe is almost more than you can take: for goodness’ sake, it’s all so authentically fake!
6.
Like Always 03:04
Gray on white with the faintest blue overhead, that’s what it looks like, that’s what she said. I listen to her, assume that she know what she’s talking about, like always. A smooth floor, sturdy chair, solid walls, breathable air: what makes up where we find ourselves today, like always.
7.
Little Games 03:16
What’s a game without a player? Just distraction What’s a game from a sideline if we’re out of action What’s a game with more than one contestant? Maybe satisfaction a non-zero chance of defeat maybe a taste of victory sweet Your big game might be today but that ain’t what I want to play Little games are much more preferable Wouldn’t you agree? Little games can be so much more rewarding Little games offer more chances for scoring LIttle games offer participants opportunities to test rules Not to mention lessons you never learned in school
8.
Me and the sky, we’re both crying crying over you Me and the sky, we won’t be done until all our tears are through I remember when the sun shone down It never had a scowl or a frown All it did was illuminate the beauty that it saw I remember when the moon came out Light flattered your every pose and pout When you’d giggle it’d be the hee to your haw Now it’s only just us two Me and the sky overhead without you Me looking up, the sky looking down asking each other what’re we gonna do? I don’t need a television meteorologist to tell me how much of your love I’ve missed I don’t need the past as much as a forecast A five- to ten-day look at what’s ahead A reason to get up and get out of my bed A chance for the sky and I to shower you with all our love at last No longer just us two Me and the sky reunited with you The sky looking down, you and me looking up Love and luck like a rain gauge filling our cup
9.
Miss Water 03:32
You wouldn’t have gotten me to say I was sick of the rain until it got in my way, until it kept getting in my way Now it falls when I rise and it gets in my eyes, fills the streets, a steady beat, I won’t miss it when it’s gone Tell me about the drought: were you out in the sun and the heat, missing wetness at your feet, in a glass, falling down your throat, sweetness in your ears with every note? I won’t miss water, I won’t miss life I won’t miss fighting, I won’t miss strife I won’t miss water, I won’t miss life Can you tell that I’m lying? I won’t miss water, I won’t miss life I won’t miss water, I won’t miss strife I won’t miss water, I won’t miss life You can tell that I’m lying
10.
And it's that downhill dizzy feeling the kind that leaves me reeling It comes from shifts in elevation till I'm addicted to sensation anyone looking down from above might mistake it for love It's more unrelenting than disorienting and I'm just pretending I can keep it together The unconfirmed report of a heart at last resort can't be confirmed or denied And anyway who's left to confide
11.
I love beginnings They go by so fast You look up and suddenly they’re back in your past Then there’s endings, a full stop You on the bottom and me on the top I love beginnings You start all over again Someone’s an enemy Next day they’re a friend but do you trust them and do you trust yourself? What you feel, is it real or are they only pretending what they feel, is it real or is it all just nerve endings? There’s tricks of the light and tricks of the touch One feels like too little one seems like too much
12.
You keep trying to kick off the dark times You keep lying about your actions’ purpose You keep dying to throw up your gang signs slashing and burning the human workforce that ain’t yours but we just want open windows instead of closed doors But you should know your feelings aren’t a fact the dark times don’t answer to your beck and call your solo suicide pact is a silly lounge star act none of us out here in the audience gonna take a fall You can lay off the people You can cut your ballast, try to rise above but there’s no buoyancy without our love and there’s no flying free without our love
13.
Triplicate 04:37
If you dream in triplicate, make sure you press down so your dream will last. We don't want to implicate your future without evidence of the past. You know how it goes when it comes to paperwork You've gotta cross your eyes and dot your tees with ease, feel the breeze as it flows and inflames your supporters. They're all cheering for you. What are you going to do? They require entertainment, nourishment. It's feeding time.
14.
I used to wake up, I used to wake up to you Nowadays I only see you in my deepest dreams They used to be fun, but ever since we've been through All I do is follow the screams run toward the high beams And love that once was best in show everything I ever wanted and hoped to know It's worse than over, since it keeps on being over And hate I thought might take its place only left me and indifference face to face What's worse than over? When it keeps on being over We used to have friends we used to have acquaintances Who thought well of us shared our trust and regard Now they keep their confidences and distances So much for easy being together What I really want to know is will it always be this hard Without you, without me We are trapped, we're not free Together and apart, I miss your heart Do you miss my heart too?

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released May 5, 2023

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Saint and Kings San Pablo, California

I’m a singer-songwriter using guitars and keyboards to craft distinctive dispatches from intimate interiors, vast exteriors and all points in between. Drawing on years of pop, soul, indie, folk and dance-music fandom, I try to turn observations and narratives into succinct sonic snapshots. ... more

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