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Mockery Sparklers

by Saint and Kings

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1.
Another 03:53
I'm not supposed to be afraid to close my eyes when I lie down, but it seems you won't let me be without a sound. Your insistence on presence is something I've grown to resent. You've got to make up your mind whether you could be kind or simply just be. You know you're not entitled to another minute of my energy to another moment I can ever see, to another neuron in my brainpan, to another... What if I leave you in the dark? What if I'm the only one who knows the way out? What if you're afraid to be alone? Absent any vibe, won't you turn to stone, a creature void of form, air against bone, another?
2.
Confidence 03:08
Ever since, and I mean ever since, I met you, I knew I'd never forget. Ever since, ever since you walked into the room, I knew you were my doom. I want you to take me, take me, take me, take me into your confidence, into your confidence, your confidence. I want you to take me, take me, take me, take me into your confidence, into your confidence. It's not too soon, it's not for long, it's the reason why I sing this song.
3.
Cowboy Hat 03:42
Maybe my boots are the reason I'm still standing Maybe it's the jeans cut and fit are so demanding Cowboy hat against my brow Cowboy hat like a solemn vow Cowboy hat ought to take a bow Cowboy hat can't save me now Maybe it's the grief Feeling flows like ocean waves Maybe it's what lies underneath An article of clothing that saves
4.
Heat Sink 03:25
Did you dream of abasement Always one more step down to go Flop sweat in the air like a scent Lingering as you swing to and fro There's no mercy in the drop even if it stops Why would we want it to until we're through? Coldness comes in between the space to think Friction makes clear the mission of the heat sink Did you get warmer as you fell The farther away a heaven looked The things you saw: who's to tell As what felt raw slowly cooked?
5.
Lamplight 04:20
Why try to fill the air with sound when I could roll down the windshield let the roaring breeze blow away my uselessness and my pride? I'm on the avenues Leaving lamplight behind And you on my mind Slow and regular breathing Peaceful sleep deceiving I'm on the avenues Already missing you Before you hit atmosphere You were already there and me Always gone never quite here I fumbled for my clothes Found them just as in the dark as how I feel My hand on the door like I wanted to stay But I've already been too long inside
6.
Little 03:45
I thought I knew what size was Back when I also thought I knew trust I knew how to feel my hands and feet The order of operations followed neat The air in the room against my face The room I took up inside your space The space we took like a conversation As elite consent became sweet elation You were never little to me Not even when you let me be One more thing you couldn't see One more was less, I set you free You thought you know what scales were Nothing weighed on you in miniature You got close and from your perspective Attention was always a welcome corrective The breath in the body against my skin The distance between sensibility and sin The space we took like a conversation As elite consent became sweet elation We dealt the cards, cut and sort them Now we're left with this paltry postmortem An after-action report ripe with ribald retorts Behavior best suggested, suborned out of sorts A leave taken without approval of absence All forsaken formal structures now lack sense And the conversation now looks like empty space Sweet elation meant to elicit unearned consent
7.
Mockery 04:03
You're authentically a jerk That's why you and me work We got qualities that endure Every time I walk away You manage to get me to stay I always fall for the lure You make a mockery out of my love Keep making a mockery out of me I just want to fall into those eyes even when the mouth underneath them Is telling me lies I can't tell which one is prettier even if it's a mess I'll take my chance I'll make my guess I'm in this mess I can't be blessed I'm just obsessed with what I see So come on baby, keep on making that mockery
8.
The joy of the start the thrill of the feeling A gift that can't be given so we're out stealing Time from the clock and joy from receptors of pleasure This is our business this is the model We'll replicate it from mansion to hovel We know what we're doing Even if others don't If others will or won't We're dressed in threadbare rags But we look like we're made up You can catch our calendars, Pencil in appointments but We've got our fate up We know how it's all going to go We know it ends, that's why we're friends If you could hurt us in any way that matters Shatter our feelings, set us reeling You'd've done so by now, So we know you've no ability, You're full of fragility We're tougher than you and the moment And any forces you have arrayed: We are no longer afraid
9.
The sirens roar and the lights go out and flicker back. That's a strange time to wonder what it's all about, or what we lack. But as long as we're here, we might as well give a cheer: three cheers for what's coming next. 'Cause we're going to miss it when it's over, 'cause we're going to miss it when it's done. We can tell ourselves we had so much fun. We got a lot, but now it's gone. Terror sinks its nails into our arm, making us believe we've bought the farm. We used to know what harm was, until we met the next day. Then we figured out what we had to say, how to keep it together or at least paper over the hole in the wall. As long as you're not in the obituary section, there is time for reflection, maybe a big dumb joke if you can manage to remember one, if you can remember fun, remember making things better before you're done, before ...
10.
Pencil 04:25
It's hard to talk about my feelings for you, get them sounding quite like they ought. In a drought, a glass of water is great for one person but useless to the masses. Maybe that's okay, you can't please everybody or trying to be with you and not the world, it's just the way it is. I want to be a pencil in your purse, help keep things from going from bad to worse, sometimes you don't need a doctor so much as a nurse. I want to be the pencil in your purse, useful for jotting down the things you want to hang onto, not leaking all over the inside, not damaging anyone's pride. Maybe the metaphor is overwrought but I saw it on the shelf at the metaphor store and the next thing you know, it got bought. It's a function of how I'm caught by desire and your eyes, It's a function of desire to be useful in a thing. I could be a watch or a notebook, but you lack no ways of keeping time and the world's a canvas for your to write upon. What you need is a handy-dandy all-purpose implement to use to write upon the firmament or the firm ground you call.. Everything belongs to you. Everything belongs to you.
11.
We never let love get between the ways we liked each other We kept the regard in reserve For when we got on our nerves Hey kid let's not put on a show Let's put pleasure over business Try on some disguises and masks Toss a coin up and do what it asks Forget what's easy to remember Forget January through December On a stage under lights is no way to say goodnight Let alone get to say good morning a little later Easy meant never needing to perform Before the sun gave way to the storm Lately our ledger's redder than black Maybe we can still find our way back
12.
Sparklers 04:16
Apparently I'm a trick of the light, a nighttime apparition Until I find I'm within your sight in just the right position None the worse for wear as if you care for my condition Underneath no false belief, no suspicious superstition Until you take me in hand, hold me aloft Hike up my clothes against flesh so soft Thrill to the smoke in the dark and we are starkers Strike up a match so we shine like sparklers Apparently we glow with the flow, mist and air and flame Both here and gone, a phenomenon in action if not in name And recognition flickers between Four eyes we look the same And lips that mouth a silent vow far too wild to tame Until I take you in hand, hold you aloft Hike up your clothes against flesh so soft Thrill to the smoke in the dark and we are starkers Strike up this match, how we shine like sparklers
13.
The Middle 04:44
You're always angry, I'm rarely enraged, we're looking at each other through the bars of this cage. You think I'm trying to be neutral on a moving train, but still I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You see I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You want to call what I'm doing by some other name. I don't like the picture, and that's why I try to widen the frame. These people that you trust whisper into your ear "believe the worst." I can't believe what they say. It has the ring of the rehearsed. You think I'm trying to be neutral on a moving train, but still I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You see I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You are torn between heaven and hell as fates, but I'm not dying to visit either of those states. You bring the world to me, injustice by injustice, like some magician. No wonder I cling to what's proven; the world I live in is sufficient. Your dream of what's better. It empowers your pursuit of the worst. I'll be here in the middle when you're done making the last the first. I'll be here in the middle when you're done.
14.
Vanish 03:44
I wish I knew how to vanish the way that parts of the city do when I'm trying to find them and they're slipping out of my view. I've got a map for that, I've got an app for that, but they've got something for me and it isn't to be seen. I could blame gentrification, but it wouldn't satisfy the sensation that somehow I'm at fault for not doing everything I ought to track down the landscape, frame it in the portrait, keep the picture full and clear, keep there from here. You know me, I love a good fact. That's why this disappearing act is so disconcerting. It's my feelings they're hurting. All these businesses and streets, all these people, so sweet: they wouldn't leave me alone, would they?

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released November 26, 2023

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Saint and Kings San Pablo, California

I’m a singer-songwriter using guitars and keyboards to craft distinctive dispatches from intimate interiors, vast exteriors and all points in between. Drawing on years of pop, soul, indie, folk and dance-music fandom, I try to turn observations and narratives into succinct sonic snapshots. ... more

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