1. |
Another
03:53
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I'm not supposed to be afraid to close my eyes when I lie down, but it seems you won't let me be without a sound. Your insistence on presence is something I've grown to resent. You've got to make up your mind whether you could be kind or simply just be. You know you're not entitled to another minute of my energy to another moment I can ever see, to another neuron in my brainpan, to another... What if I leave you in the dark? What if I'm the only one who knows the way out? What if you're afraid to be alone? Absent any vibe, won't you turn to stone, a creature void of form, air against bone, another?
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2. |
Confidence
03:08
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Ever since, and I mean ever since, I met you, I knew I'd never forget. Ever since, ever since you walked into the room, I knew you were my doom. I want you to take me, take me, take me, take me into your confidence, into your confidence, your confidence. I want you to take me, take me, take me, take me into your confidence, into your confidence. It's not too soon, it's not for long, it's the reason why I sing this song.
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3. |
Cowboy Hat
03:42
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Maybe my boots are
the reason I'm still standing
Maybe it's the jeans
cut and fit are so demanding
Cowboy hat against my brow
Cowboy hat like a solemn vow
Cowboy hat ought to take a bow
Cowboy hat can't save me now
Maybe it's the grief
Feeling flows like ocean waves
Maybe it's what lies underneath
An article of clothing that saves
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4. |
Heat Sink
03:25
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Did you dream of abasement
Always one more step down to go
Flop sweat in the air like a scent
Lingering as you swing to and fro
There's no mercy in the drop even if it stops
Why would we want it to until we're through?
Coldness comes in between the space to think
Friction makes clear the mission of the heat sink
Did you get warmer as you fell
The farther away a heaven looked
The things you saw: who's to tell
As what felt raw slowly cooked?
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5. |
Lamplight
04:20
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Why try to fill the air with sound
when I could roll down the windshield
let the roaring breeze blow away
my uselessness and my pride?
I'm on the avenues
Leaving lamplight behind
And you on my mind
Slow and regular breathing
Peaceful sleep deceiving
I'm on the avenues
Already missing you
Before you hit atmosphere
You were already there and me
Always gone never quite here
I fumbled for my clothes
Found them just as in the dark as how I feel
My hand on the door like I wanted to stay
But I've already been too long inside
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6. |
Little
03:45
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I thought I knew what size was
Back when I also thought I knew trust
I knew how to feel my hands and feet
The order of operations followed neat
The air in the room against my face
The room I took up inside your space
The space we took like a conversation
As elite consent became sweet elation
You were never little to me
Not even when you let me be
One more thing you couldn't see
One more was less, I set you free
You thought you know what scales were
Nothing weighed on you in miniature
You got close and from your perspective
Attention was always a welcome corrective
The breath in the body against my skin
The distance between sensibility and sin
The space we took like a conversation
As elite consent became sweet elation
We dealt the cards, cut and sort them
Now we're left with this paltry postmortem
An after-action report ripe with ribald retorts
Behavior best suggested, suborned out of sorts
A leave taken without approval of absence
All forsaken formal structures now lack sense
And the conversation now looks like empty space
Sweet elation meant to elicit unearned consent
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7. |
Mockery
04:03
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You're authentically a jerk
That's why you and me work
We got qualities that endure
Every time I walk away
You manage to get me to stay
I always fall for the lure
You make a mockery out of my love
Keep making a mockery out of me
I just want to fall into
those eyes even when
the mouth underneath them
Is telling me lies I can't tell
which one is prettier
even if it's a mess
I'll take my chance
I'll make my guess
I'm in this mess
I can't be blessed
I'm just obsessed
with what I see
So come on baby, keep on
making that mockery
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8. |
No Longer Afraid
03:32
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The joy of the start
the thrill of the feeling
A gift that can't be given
so we're out stealing
Time from the clock and joy
from receptors of pleasure
This is our business
this is the model
We'll replicate it
from mansion to hovel
We know what we're doing
Even if others don't
If others will or won't
We're dressed in threadbare rags
But we look like we're made up
You can catch our calendars,
Pencil in appointments but
We've got our fate up
We know how it's all going to go
We know it ends, that's why we're friends
If you could hurt us
in any way that matters
Shatter our feelings, set us reeling
You'd've done so by now,
So we know you've no ability,
You're full of fragility
We're tougher than you and the moment
And any forces you have arrayed:
We are no longer afraid
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9. |
Now It's Gone
04:09
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The sirens roar and the lights go out and flicker back. That's a strange time to wonder what it's all about, or what we lack. But as long as we're here, we might as well give a cheer: three cheers for what's coming next. 'Cause we're going to miss it when it's over, 'cause we're going to miss it when it's done. We can tell ourselves we had so much fun. We got a lot, but now it's gone. Terror sinks its nails into our arm, making us believe we've bought the farm. We used to know what harm was, until we met the next day. Then we figured out what we had to say, how to keep it together or at least paper over the hole in the wall. As long as you're not in the obituary section, there is time for reflection, maybe a big dumb joke if you can manage to remember one, if you can remember fun, remember making things better before you're done, before ...
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10. |
Pencil
04:25
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It's hard to talk about my feelings for you, get them sounding quite like they ought. In a drought, a glass of water is great for one person but useless to the masses. Maybe that's okay, you can't please everybody or trying to be with you and not the world, it's just the way it is. I want to be a pencil in your purse, help keep things from going from bad to worse, sometimes you don't need a doctor so much as a nurse. I want to be the pencil in your purse, useful for jotting down the things you want to hang onto, not leaking all over the inside, not damaging anyone's pride. Maybe the metaphor is overwrought but I saw it on the shelf at the metaphor store and the next thing you know, it got bought. It's a function of how I'm caught by desire and your eyes, It's a function of desire to be useful in a thing. I could be a watch or a notebook, but you lack no ways of keeping time and the world's a canvas for your to write upon. What you need is a handy-dandy all-purpose implement to use to write upon the firmament or the firm ground you call.. Everything belongs to you. Everything belongs to you.
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11. |
Show Business
03:07
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We never let love get between
the ways we liked each other
We kept the regard in reserve
For when we got on our nerves
Hey kid let's not put on a show
Let's put pleasure over business
Try on some disguises and masks
Toss a coin up and do what it asks
Forget what's easy to remember
Forget January through December
On a stage under lights is no way to say goodnight
Let alone get to say good morning a little later
Easy meant never needing to perform
Before the sun gave way to the storm
Lately our ledger's redder than black
Maybe we can still find our way back
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12. |
Sparklers
04:16
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Apparently I'm a trick of the light,
a nighttime apparition
Until I find I'm within your sight
in just the right position
None the worse for wear as if
you care for my condition
Underneath no false belief,
no suspicious superstition
Until you take me in hand, hold me aloft
Hike up my clothes against flesh so soft
Thrill to the smoke in the dark and we are starkers
Strike up a match so we shine like sparklers
Apparently we glow with the flow,
mist and air and flame
Both here and gone, a phenomenon
in action if not in name
And recognition flickers between
Four eyes we look the same
And lips that mouth a silent vow
far too wild to tame
Until I take you in hand, hold you aloft
Hike up your clothes against flesh so soft
Thrill to the smoke in the dark and we are starkers
Strike up this match, how we shine like sparklers
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13. |
The Middle
04:44
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You're always angry, I'm rarely enraged, we're looking at each other through the bars of this cage. You think I'm trying to be neutral on a moving train, but still I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You see I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You want to call what I'm doing by some other name. I don't like the picture, and that's why I try to widen the frame.
These people that you trust whisper into your ear "believe the worst." I can't believe what they say. It has the ring of the rehearsed. You think I'm trying to be neutral on a moving train, but still I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You see I'm carried forward beside you just the same. You are torn between heaven and hell as fates, but I'm not dying to visit either of those states.
You bring the world to me, injustice by injustice, like some magician. No wonder I cling to what's proven; the world I live in is sufficient. Your dream of what's better. It empowers your pursuit of the worst. I'll be here in the middle when you're done making the last the first. I'll be here in the middle when you're done.
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14. |
Vanish
03:44
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I wish I knew how to vanish the way that parts of the city do when I'm trying to find them and they're slipping out of my view. I've got a map for that, I've got an app for that, but they've got something for me and it isn't to be seen.
I could blame gentrification, but it wouldn't satisfy the sensation that somehow I'm at fault for not doing everything I ought to track down the landscape, frame it in the portrait, keep the picture full and clear, keep there from here.
You know me, I love a good fact. That's why this disappearing act is so disconcerting. It's my feelings they're hurting. All these businesses and streets, all these people, so sweet: they wouldn't leave me alone, would they?
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Saint and Kings San Pablo, California
I’m a singer-songwriter using guitars and keyboards to craft distinctive dispatches from intimate interiors, vast exteriors and all points in between. Drawing on years of pop, soul, indie, folk and dance-music fandom, I try to turn observations and narratives into succinct sonic snapshots. ... more
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